Bizarre probleem-rubriek.

Probleem-rubrieken zijn een bron van veel leedvermaak. Niet dat ik lol maak om mensen met bona fide problemen. Het gaat mij om diegenen die om hulp vragen voor problemen, waaraan zijzelf onbewust de grootste bijdrage hebben geleverd. Dankzij internet heb ik nu toegang tot een oneindige bron van vermaak, en het laten meedelen in de vreugd, zie ik als een goede functie.

Vandaag een jongeman uit Canada, die in de meest bizarre scam is beland, maar nu pas enige nattigheid begint te voelen.

This story starts three months ago, where I get a call from Industrial Alliance, third largest insurance company in Canada. They tell me this sweet offer about a job that has a starting salary of 52,000$CAD with a month vacation and learning lots of great stuff. (Tijdens een recessie bieden bedrijven banen aan jan en alleman aan) They direct me to Steve, a really nice guy who gives me the pitch about the company, the paid training and why I should work for them. "After you finish your training you're going to drive your sales manager to sales for 4 weeks and he will makes sales for you! You get all the commission for no work!" (Vet betaald worden, zonder werk?) One online 'personality test' later and I'm hired! (Grootste recessie sinds de jaren '20, maar een persoonlijksheidstest is voldoende om ingehuurd te worden) "Before you show up for your first day you need a suit and tie, and when you're actually hired you're going to need a car." I don't even have a driver's license at this point. The building is a 30 minute bus ride from a metro station which is 30 minutes from my house, so the commute is long and boring, and I don't know the area at all.

So as I'm awaiting my first check for my sweet salary I get another dose of truth. "Well, we can't actually HIRE you until you pass your government financial exams, but we can lend you money that you need for the whole while you're being trained! You won't actually work for us but we'll just keep you here while you study!"
So they assess my situation, how much rent I pay and expenses and find out I can live comfortably off 200$ a week. Then I find out this isn't pay, this is money I will have to pay back eventually, BUT there's a 3000$ startup bonus that I get when I pass my exams!

I spent 500$ on two suits and show up for my first day. Tthe other 20some people there are not wearing suits. That felt a bit awkward. I train for a few weeks (basically study textbooks) and my exam dates approach. "The exams are super easy, 97% of people who train here pass on their first shot!" (Jongens, deze onderwerpen zijn niet makkelijk als het iets voor moet stellen) There are 5 exams, Law, Financial Products, Disability, Taxation and Life Insurance. I take 3 in a day and fail taxation. I am totally scared and disappointed at this point, because how could I be in the 3% that fails!?! Well of the 30 people who took the 3 exams, NOBODY passed all three. We had people in the training who are practicing lawyers (who are practicing idiots) who FAILED THE LAW EXAM. "That's ok! They must have made the exams harder lately, we'll just reschedule them for later, at your cost of course!" So another 200$ in the bin to reschedule my taxation exam to coincide with the disability and financial products exams. I take the three of them and pass them all! I take my driving test and pass! Everything is awesome!

Throughout this training I realized that the first phone call I recieved was lacking a very important word. AVERAGE. 52,000$ AVERAGE starting salary. They also included another misleading word, SALARY. The black and white truth is that all of your paychecks are advances on commissions. Your salary is 0$. You are self-employed. (Hoewel ik al veel eerder uitgestapt is, het punt waarop je moet weten dat er iets stinkt is nu bereikt) If you make 0 sales you get 0$. They will still cut you a paycheck but you owe it to them. I was in this deep (nee, dat was je niet, maar je rationaliseerd) so I grinned and bared it while I met my sales manager. Bill seemed like a very nice guy, young go-getter with his eye on the prize who was promoted to lead a sales team in a few years. He liked big numbers and always tried to get his team to preform. I was looking forward to driving him to potential clients and having him make sales for me, but I didn't have a car yet. He had a car, but they were not ok with him driving me to appointments. THATS JUST NOT HOW IT WORKS. (Ik weet helemaal niet meer hoe wat werkt hier) So, I did what I had to and bought a car. A 2006 Chevy Aveo with 47,000 miles on it at a decent price. I bought the car on saturday and it had to pass inspections before I could pick it up. I had sales meetings on monday, but my car was still being inspected. Bill did not understand this. "What do you mean, you bought the car, where is it? It doens't need to be inspected!" I told him I'm getting it tomorrow. I had to cancel the monday appointments because I had to have my own car but simply didn't. Bill couldn't drive me anywhere, I had to drive him. Today was the big day. I get my car and head to work with my dad in the passenger seat. I'm not a great driver, i've only have my license for 2 weeks (ik benadruk even dat hij zonder rijbewijs is ingehuurd als chauffeur) and I needed directions so it was quite helpful to have him there.

I get to work and it's off to my very first sale. "Oh by the way, this guy we're meeting lives pretty close to me, so I'll drive my car and you can follow me until we're at my place, I'll park my car there, we can drive to the sale together then you drive me back to save time" Ok, sounds good, I'm not a great driver so I want to be on these unfamiliar roads as little as possible. We leave the parking lot and he starts moving very quickly. We're in a residential area so I can catch up to him when he stops at the stop signs. Then we hit a highway. He's about 6 car lengths ahead of me and I'm doing everything I can to not lose him. I have no idea where I am. We hit a construction zone, maximum 70 km/h. I'm going 120 and cars are still passing me. I hate it, I feel anxious and I have no idea what to do. I can't stop, I'll lose him. I can't talk on my cell phone, I have no idea what to do. So I finally see him exit, FINALLY I might be able to catch up. He goes up a ramp and I see out of the corner of my eye '35 km/h speed limit'. I'm still going 120. There's a sharp right turn. (En geen moment doorhebben dat Brian je wilde afschudden) I try to turn and slow down but I can't do it, and I go into the grass with a thud. He continues driving completely oblivious to my situation. Other motorists give me the "are you okay" wave and I wave back saying I'm fine. I get out to look at the damage.

The car looks perfectly fine, except the hubcap on the front left wheel is kind of coming off. I try to drive and the steering wheel is shifting to the left. I get out and take out the tire iron and remove the hubcap. It's at this point that Bill calls me and asks where I am, he's at the meeting point. I have no loving clue where I am. He went above the ramp and disappeared. He gives me some vague directions to where he is in auto-speak that I don't understand, I don't know the area, I don't know what these landmarks, highways or streets are. I take the hubcap off and drive. The car is still shifting. Something is hosed up royally. I call him and say my car is hosed and I don't know where I am. He asks me what street I'm on and I tell him and say I'll call him back. I call my parents to see if they can come get me. They say they're on their way but I'm kind of rattled and talk to them for a while while they're driving. Brian calls me asking what's up, I say I'm talking to my parents who are coming and I'm on this street. He says he'll put it in his GPS. He calls back 10 minutes later saying he was still waiting because i didn't call him back. Why did you say you were putting it in your GPS? I tell him the situation and he says "ok cancel the meeting and try to get it fixed for tomorrow's meetings!" I cancel the meeting, then talk to my parents and try to tell them where I am. I move the car to a manageable area, call a tow truck and my parents show up to take me home. Then I come home and write this thread.

I am super pissed at Bill for driving fast when I don't know the area, I'm supposed to be following him knowing that I'm inexperienced. I had an accident and he didn't really seem to care beyond getting these meetings done. I'm still willing to go to meetings but I DO NOT HAVE A CAR. I have meetings booked this week and next, which i'm still willing to get to on my own. If Bill wants to drive me there, fine, whatever. I've worked for 3 months and all the money I've gotten has to be paid back, as well as the cost of the training + books and now I have a car to pay for. They're going to weasel out of the 3000$ startup because "I'm not officially hired yet" until august. My parents are amazing (het is zeker amazing dat zij ook niets doorhebben, maar het zit in de familie) and we have enough money for this to work out regardless of what I do. I'm tempted to just say fuck off and find a job elsewhere, perhaps using my certifications somewhere else. They're probably going to do what they can to keep me there longer, whether it be driving me to meetings or simply 'paying me' to stay home until my car is fixed.

I'm sorry for the wall of text, but I don't really know what to do.

Nee, je weet niet wat te doen? Wat denk je van nadenken met je hoofd in plaats van met je hebzucht.